Reflections on Parenting During Quarantine

During this time of quarantine, I’ve noticed an abundance of free subscriptions and memberships being poured out by all kinds of educational resources. The generosity is heartwarming, but as a parent sifting through it all I find it mind boggling. There is no way I could take advantage of it all and I wouldn’t be doing my kids a service by trying. Luckily my kids are receiving quality academic and enrichment from their public school teachers. My children have had plenty to do without being overwhelmed by school work or becoming bored. I appreciate the quality of the assignments that peak interest and keep their minds engaged. We have not received any assignments that I would classify as busy work. Leaning on my child’s teachers to provide their academic learning alleviates the fatigue I will surely experience if I try to take advantage of every educational offer out there right now.

As an art teacher myself I feel like a curator for my school’s families. It’s my job to sift out something meaningful for my students to engage in each week. I encourage you to use your child’s teacher as a primary resource. Let them curate each weeks learning experiences. Of course there are people who, for a variety of reasons may need to take a larger role in their child’s education right now.

As families find themselves housebound, I think some parents are feeling a bit overwhelmed as they figure out how to facilitate their child’s learning. I appreciated this article Tips for Homeschooling During Coronavirus published by NPR. This is a great opportunity for our kids to pursue their interests deeply. 

“Bonus: If it's something they're truly interested in, you won't have to bug them to do it.” - Ana Homayoun, educational coach

My biggest take aways from these first two weeks parenting in quarantine:

Guide your child as they set the schedule for the day. We set up an hourly schedule on the glass french doors in our kitchen. Using crayola window markers I help my kids map out the day so they meet their academic and personal goals. Designate time for schoolwork, creative time, as well as time to be physically active and spending some amount of time outdoors. Reserve a short time each day to contribute to family by completing chores. Let them take ownership over their time and they will be more willing to keep the schedule.

Break up the day by interspersing creative and physical activities throughout the day. Providing short breaks from school work by going for a quick walk around the block, cuddling with a pet, building with Legos or doing a short drawing tutorial online can help pace kids (and parents) so they don’t get frustrated or burned out. Leaving all the “fun stuff” for after school work is done, might seem like a way to incentivize, but I found that using these activities to break up the day as short term incentives work better for my family.

Slay your dragons before lunch. I was so proud of my youngest son for setting his schedule to get his most challenging subject out of the way first. It made all the difference for him to be able to choose that for himself and see the advantage of it rather than if I forced him to. Maybe this experience will help him manage his time later on in life.

It’s all about intention. A planned pajama day can be fun, but staying in pj’s just because of lack of motivation can be a slippery slope. Keeping a routine and having standards like: everyone has to be dressed and ready for the day by 9am on weekdays can give structure to your day that will be beneficial in the long run.

Extend grace to your kids, your children’s teachers and yourself as you navigate this unprecedented time. Even with the greatest intentions and planning we will all have moments or even entire days that don’t go well. When we have these rough times be prepared to extend grace and just do the best you can under the circumstances.

What lessons have you learned as you parent during this trying time?

Making Things With and For My Kids

I am an artist.  Now that I am a mother of two creative little souls I devote much of my creative energy into making things with and for my kids.

The year following my first child’s birth I found ways to continue my art making.  I threw pottery in my garage during naptimes and hired teens from my church to play with him while I glazed.  I painted murals with my son strapped to me in a baby carrier.  He loved grabbing my brushes and watching each colorful brush stroke.  I tried trimming pots once with him in a carrier on my back.  No, that did not work, but I’m not sorry I tried it. 

When my second child was born I decided ceramics just wasn’t working.  Clay required too much attention and so I turned to my sewing machine and paint brush instead.  They were much less messy and I could work in little creative spurts while my boys napped and played nearby. 

I designed and made a fabric playhouse for my son’s first birthday.  He also got a toy kitchen from his grandparents which got me thinking about making play food.  I had worked at a children’s museum the year prior to his birth, so I pulled from that experience along with a textile sculpture class I’d taken in college.   I took actual food and dissected it, making patterns from it and shrinking it to fit my miniature chef and his kitchen.  My husband would come home from a long day at work and I would present him with the product of my day, “Tah dah!  Miniature paella!  Complete with little shrimp and rice made from embroidery floss.  Check out how it fits in the little frying pan!”

The time I had spent making manipulative activities at the museum combined with watching my little ones play and interact with their toys got me really thinking about toys.  Many toys on the store shelves could “play” just fine on their own without a child doing a thing.  I was hungry to find toys that were only as good as the imagination of the child playing with them.  Joan Almon founding director of the Alliance for Childhood says “A good toy is 95% child and 5% toy.”   I couldn’t agree more.  I gravitated towards simple wooden toys.   Toys like blocks and wooden train sets that could be set up and changed and become anything the kids wanted them to become.  I wanted toys that were a catalyst for their imaginations not simply things that entertained them. 

I also wanted them to learn things in a way that they enjoyed so much that they didn’t even notice that they were learning.  When designing my playhouse I brainstormed with a friend of mine, who also happens to be a teacher, I wanted to paint trees on the playhouse with apples you could pick.  Why not make them out of different colors and have matching colored barrels for the kids to sort them?  I had a barn on one side of the playhouse with a basket of a dozen eggs that you could hide and then the kids could find them and collect them.  Why not write numbers on the eggs and have the kids put them in numerical order?  Each idea that became fleshed out with multiple ways to play and learn was so exciting to me.  I couldn’t wait to make the sketches in my sketch book into real tangible objects and start playing with my boys! 

So that’s how I got started and now I hope to share some of my ideas and start some conversations about other ways that parents can encourage their little ones.  By creating opportunities for play that foster creative thinking and problem solving, we as parents can have a positive impact on the next generation.