Living Room Entertainment and Reasons Not to Document it

Last night my creative little heart invited us to an evening of entertainment. His act: stand-up comedy. He has spent a lot of time during this quarantine creating funny videos and comic strips. He enjoys a standing weekly date with his Mimi on Sunday nights where they watch Americas Funniest Videos together virtually while on facetime. It made me think about how important it is to find reasons to laugh during this time of  quarantine that is so full of heavy, serious, scary, dull and boring moments.

Watching my son enter the room in a fun outfit he put together, carrying a mic made of tinker toys reminded me of my child hood. My sister and I would put on performances for my parents friends and our family. We would push the coffee table out of the way and sing and dance. I recall one time when I played the piano keyboard for my grandparents. When I was done they clapped and said, “Encore, play us another!” I only knew one song so I started playing it again and my Grampy said to my Gram, “I thought she was going to play another song, a different song!” She elbowed him in the ribs and while smiling, nodded at me to continue.

These are some of my best childhood memories. I purposely have no images or video from last night’s comedy show to share with you because I promised my son that I would keep that private, just for family, but it got me to thinking: How much does sharing video and images of these moments alter them? How unencumbered were my sister and I when we twirled and danced without fear that it would be posted publicly? How freeing is that to have these moments as memories without being publicly documented?

Tina Fey shared on The Tonight Show a few weeks ago that her kids and some of their cousins and friends kids put on a talent show virtually using video conferencing. She said it was a great way to get the kids off their screens every once in a while. (If you’ve been parenting through this quarantine you know the struggle to limit screen time while distance learning on the internet and the easy access to hours of streaming entertainment. The struggle is real!) Anyway, Fey said that she loved being able to send them off to practice for the talent show. My older son created a video clip of himself playing guitar for his schools virtual talent show. Sharing these memories through the technology available is a fun way to keep us somewhat connected while forced to stay apart.

I organized some of my own students (and a few brave teachers) to submit video clips of them dancing to a song they all knew from school that had motions. Some students really enjoyed it and others were good sports and participated out of obligation. I only shared it with our small school community, but still the fear of documenting something potentially silly deterred some students from enjoying participating and prevented others from joining in at all.

I guess my muse about at home live entertainment this morning is that I want to encourage families to create space this summer for their kids to put on a show completely undocumented. Give them your full attention and allow them the gift of being able to take the risk of being silly or performing in front of you without the anxiety of it being archived on social media. Sit back, relax and enjoy the show.

Reflections on Parenting During Quarantine

During this time of quarantine, I’ve noticed an abundance of free subscriptions and memberships being poured out by all kinds of educational resources. The generosity is heartwarming, but as a parent sifting through it all I find it mind boggling. There is no way I could take advantage of it all and I wouldn’t be doing my kids a service by trying. Luckily my kids are receiving quality academic and enrichment from their public school teachers. My children have had plenty to do without being overwhelmed by school work or becoming bored. I appreciate the quality of the assignments that peak interest and keep their minds engaged. We have not received any assignments that I would classify as busy work. Leaning on my child’s teachers to provide their academic learning alleviates the fatigue I will surely experience if I try to take advantage of every educational offer out there right now.

As an art teacher myself I feel like a curator for my school’s families. It’s my job to sift out something meaningful for my students to engage in each week. I encourage you to use your child’s teacher as a primary resource. Let them curate each weeks learning experiences. Of course there are people who, for a variety of reasons may need to take a larger role in their child’s education right now.

As families find themselves housebound, I think some parents are feeling a bit overwhelmed as they figure out how to facilitate their child’s learning. I appreciated this article Tips for Homeschooling During Coronavirus published by NPR. This is a great opportunity for our kids to pursue their interests deeply. 

“Bonus: If it's something they're truly interested in, you won't have to bug them to do it.” - Ana Homayoun, educational coach

My biggest take aways from these first two weeks parenting in quarantine:

Guide your child as they set the schedule for the day. We set up an hourly schedule on the glass french doors in our kitchen. Using crayola window markers I help my kids map out the day so they meet their academic and personal goals. Designate time for schoolwork, creative time, as well as time to be physically active and spending some amount of time outdoors. Reserve a short time each day to contribute to family by completing chores. Let them take ownership over their time and they will be more willing to keep the schedule.

Break up the day by interspersing creative and physical activities throughout the day. Providing short breaks from school work by going for a quick walk around the block, cuddling with a pet, building with Legos or doing a short drawing tutorial online can help pace kids (and parents) so they don’t get frustrated or burned out. Leaving all the “fun stuff” for after school work is done, might seem like a way to incentivize, but I found that using these activities to break up the day as short term incentives work better for my family.

Slay your dragons before lunch. I was so proud of my youngest son for setting his schedule to get his most challenging subject out of the way first. It made all the difference for him to be able to choose that for himself and see the advantage of it rather than if I forced him to. Maybe this experience will help him manage his time later on in life.

It’s all about intention. A planned pajama day can be fun, but staying in pj’s just because of lack of motivation can be a slippery slope. Keeping a routine and having standards like: everyone has to be dressed and ready for the day by 9am on weekdays can give structure to your day that will be beneficial in the long run.

Extend grace to your kids, your children’s teachers and yourself as you navigate this unprecedented time. Even with the greatest intentions and planning we will all have moments or even entire days that don’t go well. When we have these rough times be prepared to extend grace and just do the best you can under the circumstances.

What lessons have you learned as you parent during this trying time?